Sanity (part 2)

–          Hey, hey, hey, wait, please don’t cry like that. Please!

–          I… I…. I… I can’t!

–          Shuushhh, please, you are weeping so hard that your whole body shakes. Calm down, take a deep breath. It’s all gonna be okay.

–          No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not. It’s never gonna be okay, Andy. It never is… – and she continued to pour her soul out.

Andy sat there and for the first time in their existence he didn’t know what to do or say. He didn’t know what have happened, because, just maybe, that few seconds he closed his eyes to rest something has gone terribly wrong. He watched her, bend in two, small, fragile and shivering.

–          Here, take this – he gave her a blanket. – You’re cold. Tell me, what happened?

–          I’m scared, I feel broken… HE came, Andy, HE came… I tried to hide, I was running, from one place to another, but HE was always there.

–          Who came? Where did you run?

–          For a subconscious sometimes you are incredibly dull. HE came… – another shiver shook her body. Now Andy realized that the shivering wasn’t just from the weeps and that the cold feeling was not physical. It was that kind of cold that comes from within and is much more scary. – And I ran trough dreams, scenarios, all kind of them… Animated, 3D, based on reality. I ran further and further, trying to find a safe place. But as I went deeper, the more closer HE was.

–          Shuush, I understand, here, here now, just relax.

–          I can’t! Don’t you see? HE was everywhere, there was no place to go, no place to hide. Till I ended here. And every time it was stronger, more painful, darker and more frightening.

–          You just had a nightmare, don’t worry. Just go back to sleep and…

–          NO! HE’s there, HE’s waiting, I can feel it.

–          HE won’t be, I promise. I’m going to make a nice, beautiful place, warm and filled with happiness.

–          NO, I CAN’T GO BACK!

Andy sighed. He didn’t understand the situation to the full. Because it was not rational. HE couldn’t be there, there was no way He was… Before resting Andy made sure of that. He reached to hug her, but she pulled back.

–          No, don’t! Stay back! Just… just leave me alone.

Andy knit his brows. He looked to the left and saw something appearing, like form a mist or something. As it materialized Andy saw it was a mirror. And he saw his reflection in it. From the shiny surface HE was looking back with HIS calm face and eyes, with a slight smile that made HIM more mysterious. And in that slight moment Andy realized what was broke. As he reached to touch the mirror, seeing the reflection reaching back to him, all her emotions overtook him. Every single bit of them… the love, the pain, the hatred, the happiness, the fear, the courage, the anxiety, the hopefulness and the hopelessness. And as they merged with him, Andy understood. Feeling her feelings he stood there with his moth opened. The bitterness and the sorrow shattered him and the mirror, making the little bits and pieces fade in to thin air. Till they disappeared completely.

She continued to stay there, alone, shivering, crying. To the moment she cried herself back to sleep. An empty, deep sleep… Up in the tower, guarded by wolves and dragons, behind the thick ice wall…

And HE. HE went to her, left a cat near her head and a small blue ball for itto play with. Then HE withdrew to the deep forest of memories, where HE would wait for her to remember, to come. HE knew that HE and Andy would be back in the right time. There was no other way. Because both of them were parts of her. Sometimes painful… but hers.

The cat cuddled on the girl’s back and started purring… Calming her heart…

~ от Джен на юли 6, 2011.

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